Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
two words: eviction party
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
