I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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