I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
