Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
