apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize