every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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