My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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