CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
