Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize