I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
