i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
