Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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