Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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