dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
