she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
