You're completely useless in the revolution.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
