things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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