Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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