Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
