addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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