He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
