I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
