I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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