do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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