Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
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I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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