I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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