She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
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His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
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possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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