Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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