i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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