i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize