atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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