i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
