we're chasing vodka with high fives
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
