the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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