So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
