i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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