i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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