chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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