oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
