I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
