Soap is not a condiment
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
