She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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