Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
her facebook's as public as her vagina
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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