I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize