whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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