69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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