wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Even my vagina gasped.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Randomize
