I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
