i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize