At least make sure they are 18
Why
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
