Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
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My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
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A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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