Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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