i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
