It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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