Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
