So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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