I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize